It's been confirmed. I have a knee-jerk reaction to conflict with my wife that looks something like this: Why did you do that? What were you thinking? Who did you think was going to take care of that? Why do you think I am wrong? Can't you see that I am always right?
Ok. Now that last question isn't one I've ever voiced, but it is certainly the underlying presupposition of most of the conflict in my life. Dare I say that most of the quarrels in my life arise because of I fail to misunderstand the source of my own anger and frustration. I fail to see the idolatry of my own heart.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17.9
When my desire for something other than Christ becomes the supreme desire in my life, I begin chiding my wife and harboring resentment. Essentially what I am doing at that moment is blaming her for the deceitfulness of my own heart! When I wake up in the morning and find myself nagging at her it is not because she is a sinner. I nag her because, in her actions (sometimes good, sometimes bad), she is stomping on the idols in my heart. What a truly humbling moment it is when you realize your heart is being ruled by your desire for comfort instead of Christ, and in your sin you can't believe that your very own wife would make life so uncomfortable for you.
Ouch.
Isn't it wonderful that the promise of the New Covenant is a new heart? Maybe a better way to phrase it would be to say a "new and being renewed heart." Every day I need a renewed heart (and mind). Please pray for me, my wife (and future child), and the community we are apart of as I continue to place my faith in future grace.
Ok. Now that last question isn't one I've ever voiced, but it is certainly the underlying presupposition of most of the conflict in my life. Dare I say that most of the quarrels in my life arise because of I fail to misunderstand the source of my own anger and frustration. I fail to see the idolatry of my own heart.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17.9
When my desire for something other than Christ becomes the supreme desire in my life, I begin chiding my wife and harboring resentment. Essentially what I am doing at that moment is blaming her for the deceitfulness of my own heart! When I wake up in the morning and find myself nagging at her it is not because she is a sinner. I nag her because, in her actions (sometimes good, sometimes bad), she is stomping on the idols in my heart. What a truly humbling moment it is when you realize your heart is being ruled by your desire for comfort instead of Christ, and in your sin you can't believe that your very own wife would make life so uncomfortable for you.
Ouch.
Isn't it wonderful that the promise of the New Covenant is a new heart? Maybe a better way to phrase it would be to say a "new and being renewed heart." Every day I need a renewed heart (and mind). Please pray for me, my wife (and future child), and the community we are apart of as I continue to place my faith in future grace.
No comments:
Post a Comment